pointers needed for new story

Discussion in 'Original Compositions' started by Marilyne M berube, Jan 31, 2018.

  1. Marilyne M berube

    Marilyne M berube New Member

    Jan 30, 2018
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    This is my first try at writing for other I would like pointers and critics that are constructive as well, to see if there would be an interest in such project.

    Thank you :)

    The title; Black Jade Tiger


    [Where am I...]

    Squinting my eyes as I let my gaze wander to my surroundings

    [A tropical forest? Why am I in a tropical forest?]

    I tell myself... Shaking my head as if to get off the dizziness or and wake myself up, since I can’t be in the forest I was crossing a bridge earlier in a city...

    Seeing that shaking my head doesn't change my view I am truly flabbergasted and disoriented.

    [Really I'm in a darn tropical forest!]

    Hearing a buzzing mosquito in my ear I shake my head again while trying to flap it away with on hand but wait... it isn’t a “hand” I look at myself

    [Oh sh*t what the hell happen why I'm I freaking Furry?!]

    My mind blank’s for a slight moment can’t hold it against me riiight?

    I try to touch myself and look all over my body. Black fur and white stripes... Darker than black Jade as the main tone of colour and those stripes are so white that’s it is shiny and glittering with splendour akin to white jade.

    [I need a mirror seriously!]

    Mind hits the panic button!

    Then while I'm still frantic I hear some footsteps. Well, those are the crushing of branches and rustles of brushes. I stare intently at the direction of the coming noises...

    Minding the fact I have no clue of what I exactly look like but by my tail that is long slender and a body that is “feline looking” I have a slight guess buuut I don't think I'm that big.

    [Am I a cat?]

    [But I can’t meow... ]

    Sound like Minnie roars that are closer to squeaking think it’s called bleating?

    Well, it’s not impressive let me tell you this, even a mouse would likely roll over and laugh so much its stomach would have cramps for a month... I feel a deep moment of gloominess all things considered.

    A huge tiger spirit beast came out of the bush and is heading toward me with lazy and unhurried steps?!

    Turning to try to flee but hells when I do it starts to trot toward me and grabs me behind the neck not hurting me at all then picking me up and walks off with me like it’s the most natural thing???

    A belly full of anguish and the head full of shocks feeling like I had been stricken by lightning?!

    Finally, it’s dawn on me.

    [I was reborn as a tiger cub? Is it my new life “mom”?]

    Being carried by who seems to be my mommy tiger I pass close enough from mirroring waters I see myself pitifully small hanging from her snout.

    I'm black and white fur ball with deep ice silver eyes; yeah that’s what I look like.


    Depressed then considering my situation I tell myself could be worst could have been born a rat...At the very least I'm a proud tiger... if anything else it isn’t too bad. “Mom” size that is 3 times bigger than an average horse on earth which reach 2 meters at the shoulders, in all likeliness I shouldn’t be bullied by anything just considering the size as I grow up.

    Mom drops me off with my brothers and little sister.

    Bigger brother is a blue ice-eyed white tiger while little sister looks more like a color of golden caramel with soft pale brown stripes with eyes of lovely soft green and the last one is even smaller than me he’s a pretty common orange and black tiger but he too has a unique feature of having red blood eyes seems we siblings are a colorful bunch’s.

    Now that I look at my mom properly she’s truly a huge white tiger, bigger than any tiger’s on earth by a large margin, wait...

    Now, I'm wondering since I been reborn I am obviously not on earth anymore then where am I? I gaze again at the flora and environment looking for hints of species that wouldn’t belong to earth environment, like overgrown carnivorous plants or any of those fantasy man-eater plants but, for the immediate surrounding, there seems to be nothing of the sort.

    Tropical heaven climate is more likely to be where I am for the moment at least. Well, I’m not good with plants but it doesn’t seem like there is any weird out fantasy novel coloured or looking trees and flowers for the moment...

    My sister come and jumps at my tail aiming to bite at my poor little slender and fluffy tail. As she keeps trying to grab that tail of mine with those paws of hers, doing her best to nail it down with her and pinning it down.

    As she keeps at it I raised one brow obviously not impressed by my little mischievous sister.

    Well, it not really rose since I probably don't have brows anymore.

    Oh well, deciding it was enough bullying of that willow tail of mine I go what the heck and jump to pine her down so she leaves my sore little tail alone it seriously annoying plus it seriously hurts in the end!

    Tumbling and jumping, makes me realize how clumsy we are looking at her we are about 2 months old I guess my conscience got tangled with an already born cub or did I just woken it back?
    Well, I got all my human memories not too sure if it’s a bonus, since well, I will miss a few peoples...

    I was previously called Katrina Reed, Katsy for friends and intimates. So figures I'm reborn as a tiger guess it fit's the name.
  2. Ezmortig

    Ezmortig New Member Staff Member Staff That ICT guy

    Dec 8, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Ay, Reincarnation that isn't just, "I became an overpowered harem-boy -- this is the story about my ezpz life". Refreshing! I'd be happy to talk more in detail on our Discord server, so if you wanna talk, message "Батюшка".